The Trust Equation

How do you know that you can trust someone?

I struggle to answer this question objectively because trust feels like such a subjective matter. Some people just don't "sit right with me," and that's okay. I also can't expect that I'm trusted and liked by everyone. That's okay, too.

But why is it so hard to explain why you trust someone or not?

Explaining feelings is hard for many, but I just discovered a helpful tool: the trust equation. The formula is like math for feelings — yay!

Here's a direct quote from the post explaining what all the variables mean:

Credibility: What we say and the expertise we bring.

Reliability: What we do consistently.

Intimacy: How safe others feel sharing with us.

Self-Orientation: How much we appear to be acting in our own interest (lower is better).

Looking back at my own professional experience, this equation makes a ton of sense.

For me, the biggest kicker is reliability. I've worked with too many people promising the world while constantly failing to deliver. It drives me up the wall that overpromising is "normal" for some folks.

In close second place is self-orientation. I've also worked with the classic solo career climber and backstabber. It was clear that I was working with someone who had an agenda that didn't include me or the team. No fun, no trust.

Credibility and intimacy are also important, but not as important for me as the first two.

However, I guess the formula checks out, and I'll definitely come back to it when I need to evaluate why I don't trust someone.